New Forum! check it out please!

so i created a Pro Ana Mia forum.

i hope you guys visit it, this is the first time iv ever done something like this so help me out, give me feedback, whatever.
spread the word, i really want this to work out!

link:

http://scrumptioushollow.forumotion.net/index.htm

Vacation disasters

Ooookay…
I am so sorry I haven’t been on in like a month. I had lots of things going on. I will get to them, just read the post :]

These ate rough times my friends…

That sleep over I was talking about in my last post went terribly! Had lots of candy and popcorn but drank lots of cold water and snuck off to my room for some quick exercising which must have payed off because that next day I looked practically the same!

Then my evil twin started to get a little suspicious of my sketchy eating habits, had to lay low. I didn’t plan on updating for a day or two.

Then I was really tired from not eating, couldn’t stay up and post.

Had a doctors appoitment for a sports physical. My mom said she wanted to check to see if I was anemic (iused to be) but I just think she wanted to know my weight…. It was 109!! Ew! I gained so much!

THEN I had to go on vacation for about ten days, just got back today. It went pretty well. I felt rather clever when I had light chunky tuna with some salsa, both of which I bought at a gas station, while the rest of my family ate 800cal subs from subway. Hehehe. Sadly, second to last day, my aunt made German chocolate cake and she already set it out before hand so I had to hungrily stare ate it throughout the whole meal. I ate it. Planned on doing lots of exercise bcuz I had a room to myself for once(staying at my aunts house). But no, my evil twin gets scared of her room bcuz my dad told her there were freaking ghosts in that room and she gets too freaking scared and ends up sleeping with me! God I hate my dad. He calls my depresive episodes “funks” and tells me to just get out of them! He’s so ignorant!!!

Then I realize later the next day Thad I happen to get fat on that rare monthly gift day. If you follow. One that I had been tryingbto avoid since last Friday. Till I got fat. Had a minor emergency bcuz we were in a hotel that night and I left my “supplies” in the car. Wonderful. I has my asshole father get my bAg for me, the day was saved. But I still hate getting it. Once I went six months without it because of ana. Pure bliss that was. If only it was so easy now…
I’m thinking I might just let it go so then if I slip up during the school year I won’t get it as fast or something.

Therapy on Wednesday. Thank god!

I had panera for dinner but before that I was up to just 300cals for the day. That’s when I decided I would just let it go for the week to let my buisness finish were it should. It was delicious. I kinda binged a little when I got home though. Wheat thins are my ultimate weakness. If they had less calories that would be all I would eat for the rest of my life ;)

Adios for now updates again tmro. Thinspo too :)

relaxation and inspiration

today is pretty nice and relaxing.
my mom is out, my evil twin is shopping, my brother is probably asleep. everything is great. i just hope it lasts!

i put up some new thinspo. check out my other blog for “collection 2”, just click the thinspo tab above!
i hope you guys like it! :]

comments && feedback pleeaze :]

xoxo
katy

Ugh! I HATE her!

so my twin sister, yeah shes an asshole. i wanted to watch “10 things i hate about you” tonight and shes just like “ugh, no i hate that show and its just a stupid knock off of a bad movie!” and shes the one who watched silly teen soap operas like 90210 and its so ANNOYING! ugh i just hate her! i told my therapist a few months ago about this one time she was just like “ugh i wish fat people would just stop complaining about how they’re fat and people make fun of them!” shes SO ignorant its not even funny! Plus since shes my twin, everyone thinks we’re BFFs and we do everything together and like the same things. whats the deal!? and she acts like she did nothing wrong!? so anyways, i was forced to watch it in the basement and i missed the first 10 minutes of the show because of her. threw a water bottle at her face :].

now im in the computer room, typing away. she wants to get on and i locked the door so shes trying to pick the lock. seriously? first she want the t.v. now she wants the computer!? well my mom came over and she is totally my superhero. she was just like “leave katy alone, you made her go to the basement so go watch that show you just had to see!” heehee. i love her ♥.

wish me luck for the next 30 odd days of summer,
Katy

p.s.
i updated my About Me page

ADHD

Well, here we go.

When I was in second grade my mom tool me to the army medical center and got me tested for ADHD. I’m not exactly sure what compelled her to do it. I mean I was eight, what was the difference. So Anyways, I got there and they ran a bunch of tests on me. Plopped me in front of a computer and
Told me what was up. I had to press the space bar everytime a letter popped up on the black screen. Five minutes in I decide that this is obsurd and why should I be doing this while my mom got to talk to someone in a different room while iwas sitting there all alone. I proceeded to test out some of the other chairs in the room and when the lady came back into the room I said I got bored.they asked me some more questions after that but I think it was pretty obvious I had ADHD.
So I started seeing a military therapist and began taking medication to treat my ADHD. I had a hard time remembering and I never wanted to take it anyways so around the end of sixth grade I stopped the meddication and tryed living life on my own. Well, about a few months ago it just got too hard juggling school work and everything and I started seeing another psychotheraist. This time she’s a civilian. Anywho, I began taking strattera again, though I’m no better at remembering to take it. I figure since I’m starting highschool next year it’s not time to be experimenting and I should just get down to what works. It does. When I take it. Today I had a session with my therapist and she asked me if I was doing any better taking my strattera, to which I replied that I took about three times within the last week and I hadn’t taken it yesterday morning because I didn’t want to wash out the taste of beagle that was left over in my mouth. Yeah, so that’s pretty much how I ammoat of the time. She laughed, I laughed with her. It was kind of silly but bring a perfectionist and a little OCD I refused to cut a small chunk out of another beagle like she suggested. No one wants a beagle with holes in it!
So that’s my story about ADHD and tomorrow I will probably post about depression and what not.
I’m not sure how many people out there actually read this but if you are I hope you comment or leave me a message or just say hello, anything really :)

Love ya,
Katy

Sent from my iPod touch!

Anorexia

Iv been anorexic for about two year now. I know it doesn’t seem like that long buy to me it’s been eternity. I can’t remember the last time I was so carefree about what I ate. It all began one summer in late august. I was visiting family in louisiana. I never meant to become anorexic, it just happened. I had quit swimming that summer after six years of being on the team. I didn’t excercise as much and I ate just the same and I started gaining some weight. I wasn’t fat. I was easily within a normal BMI. Nevertheless, my dad started to tell me I was fat. His way of telling me I shouldn’t have quit swim team. My sister was right there with him. I jokingly told them that they shouldn’t say things like that to a pre-teen with fragile psychological structure that wouldn’t shield her from the dangers of peer pressure. I now only realize that this was most likely a foreshadowing of my disease. I started to secretly diet, restricted a little bit here and there. I told myself I wasn’t going to become one of those freaky anorexics who eat like one grape for their entire week. Too late. I was getting thinner and it made me feel good. I had a better body than my twin sister, who has always been more popular than me. Then our trip to louisiana came. I packed a snack bag for the car, I just had to blend in. Hardly touched it during the eight hour drive. Threw out themccdonalds lunches and dinners claiming that they were gross or not what I ordered. Eating salads instead. Once I was there I would suck on my sisters mints all day, eat a pancake and some millk and a small bowl of gumbo. After maybe a week of this I started getting sick everytime I tried to eat. I wasn’t bulimic and I didn’t know I was anorexic then. I was 12 and I had no idea what was going on. It would run right through me and I was skinny so I didn’t really care. At home I continued this until one day I passed out from dehydration. For the next three or four days I stayed in bead eating nothing but oyster crackers. I felt so weak. Then I came up with all these conclusions. I must have scurvy or something so I started eating pears and oranges. Then I was still weak and it was still making me sick. Then I was sitting in my bed, searching the web from my iPod and I had a revealation. I might be anorexic. At first I thought that it was an obsurd idea and I just kinda laughed at it. My ribs weren’t showing or anything, how can this be anorexia? I thought. It slowly got comfortable in the corner of my mind never leaving me. I thought about it day and night those few days. Everytime my mother came into my roo to check on me I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her so badly. But I didn’t, for many reasons I think. What would my dad say? My twin is going to think I’m done kind of freak and that she’s better than me, the kids at school are going hto label me as weird and an outcast, that girl with the eating disorder. What if they institutionalize me or put me into a hospital and force feed me? I didn’t want those things, so I kept my agonizing secret quite. I didn’t tell a soul.

I haven’t told anyone in my family to this day and I wouldn’t dare. They wouldn’t understand. So that’s my story on anorexia.